Warm Bodies


Yo, Wall-e Zombie, you’re missing her tit by a mile. Go lower!!!!

Everywhere I turn, nerds are rising. It’s a fucking nightmare, dude. They’re, like, taking over like a fucking plague. Here I am, devoting my life to awesomeness, and suddenly it’s cool to be lame. Fuck. That. Noise. Do you know who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman? NO ONE CARES!!!!! Are you mad that Game Of Thrones on television deviates from the books? GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!! These stupid bull shit things don’t matter.

Nerds, bro, they’re the worst. However, I’m a sunny side kind of guy. I can see the benefits of any situation. And the singular benefit of being rad in a land of dorks is the effect it’s had on modern media. Cause, frankly, weird mash-ups like Warm Bodies wouldn’t be getting made without nerds.

Flat out, Warm Bodies is fifty movies pressed into one. You’ve got Wall-e the Zombie as the lead, a lonely outcast that likes to steal objects. He falls in love with this chick from a group of people who want him dead, so you’ve got Romeo and Juliette covered. Obviously the zombie film is in full force. But there’s also a shit-ton of 80’s teen films on display too. The resulting film is more quirky than any mainstream film has any right to be.

For instance, the title cards are done with bright glitter that shifts into blood. Because, you know, why not? They’re making a romantic zombie movie, damn it, throw in some glitter. Or even just the idea of Wall-e Zombie himself. He collects things and chills in his man cave listening to records because, “It sounds better.” Wall-e Zombie is the first filmed hipster zombie. And, more miraculous, I didn’t want to punch him in his snobby face.

This film couldn’t have been made if dorks hadn’t spent years complaining about Batman’s nipple suit, championing faithful adaptations like Lord Of The Rings, or even just promoting cool shit like Firefly. The result, after decades of being keyboard gangsters, are crazy shit like this film.

Now this film didn’t just magically fall together. It takes a pretty sure hand and good taste to smoosh all these genres together. Johnathan Levine is that hand. He directed The Wackness, a film that, like Warm Bodies, is better than it has any right to be. Then he moved on and directed 50/50, arguably the best film made last year. Each of these three films are highly entertaining and defy genre conventions at multiple turns. He’s fast becoming a dude I’m going to follow closely in the future.

So, if this is what becomes of nerd culture, if zombies get to fall in love and reenact Romeo and Juliette, so be it. I can handle it. Hell, I might even come to embrace it and read a comic or two. Ha, just kidding, I’m too fucking cool to read lame-ass comics. But I will go see nerd friendly films. Just don’t ask me to play Magic The Gathering. Cause I’ll punch you in your stupid face.

Grade: B