Awwwww yeah, let’s turn the lights down low, break out the chocolate strawberries, pour some wine, set the mood with a little Barry Manilow, and talk about the ladies. You know ’em. You love ’em. You want to get your penis all up in ’em. I feel ya. I feel ya. They are the fairer sex, after all. The Yin to our Yang. The light to our dark. The vagina to my dick. Ladies make the world go ’round fellas. So why are films with women like The Heat so damn rare?
The Heat stars Anal Miss. Congeniality as a federal agent looking to take down some mysterious drug dealer. But she needs a Bridesmaid Cop to show her around Boston. They shoot some criminals. Get stabbed a few times. But mostly they bust chops in an entertaining fashion.
And, damn, do they bust chops. Everything out of Bridesmaid Cop’s mouth is a verbal hand grenade. She’s lobbing them left and right, mostly at Anal Miss. Congeniality’s expense. And, because Miss. Congeniality always gives as good as she gets, the two develop a delightful little relationship that isn’t defined by men or stereotyped female-cattiness.
And these days, it’s pretty rare to see flicks with real chicks. That’s probably why movies like Pitch Perfect and Bridesmaids have been so resonant with the fairer sex, despite their flaws. Hollywood is basically starving women of representation. So any films with women, real women, in them automatically feel like a grand feast of pop culture.
That’s probably why I’m willing to look past some of the more obvious flaws of The Heat. Cause, sure, the cop plot line is banal and obvious. They aren’t trying to reinvent the buddy cop dynamic, merely inject it with a bit of estrogen.
But the jokes are so damn snappy you won’t be focused on the plot. A drama or action film displays tight writing through inventiveness. Comedy, conversely, simply needs clever jokes to show tight writing. And all genres need good characters. The Heat excels at comedy and likable characters, especially when it comes to women characters.
Cause I don’t know about you man, but the chicks I fuck generally aren’t the cardboard stereotypes Hollywood paints. Nah, man. Dudebro doesn’t bang stereotypes. Chicks in real life are closer to the broads in The Heat. They can be funny. They can be loyal. They can even be hot tempered and fastidious. And that’s why we love them. That’s why, night after night, we want them by us in our beds, carefully cradling our balls. So, thanks women, you make the world a better place just by being your fine, sexy ass selves.