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Shot Gunning Some Generic Summer Movies

Epic

Prettiness. There’s a lot of it here. Even if it’s light on plot.

Fern Gully but prettier. Sure, there’s no Christian Slater or a giant toxic monster, hell the movie doesn’t even really have a moral, but it’s light and breezy. If ya popped out a kid, sure, go see it. It’ll shut the little fuckers up until Monster’s University comes out.

Grade: B

 

The Hangover 3

I know. I’m sad this dude is the lead too.

 

Do you like that fat Alan dude, you know, the crazy one from the old Hangover films that acted like a dick and said crazy things? Well guess what?!?! Alan is in almost every fucking second of this sequel!!! Depending on how you feel about him as a character, this news is either a promise or a threat. Me, personally, find him deeply annoying. So, fuck this shit.

Grade: C-

After Earth

YAAAWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

I hate M. Night. The dude made one good film, which was Unbreakable for the record, and everyone flips out and says he’s the next great filmmaker. He’s not. But, as much as I despise The Village, The Happening, and Lady in the Water, they weren’t generic. They had their own little twisted vibe to them. I can respect that.

I can’t respect a film that goes out of it’s way to be so vaguely generic.

Grade: F

 

Now You See Me

Chicks, man!!!!!!

Magicians rob a bank!!!! Yes, it’s stupid!!!! No, it’s not going to be your favorite summer movie!!!! But the cast kinda rocks and it’s snappy enough to be entertaining. Plus, fuck it, there are impossibly few original films during summer.

Grade: B-

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About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

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