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What One of the Pitch Meetings for the Walking Dead MUST Have Looked Like

Don’t worry. She doesn’t know how to shoot it.

Exec: Robert, love the show. It’s daring. It’s bleak. It’s hip. I think we’ve got a winner. I just wanted to talk to you about Andrea.

Robert Kirkman: Andrea? Do you like her? Fans do. She’s pretty cool. I like how she’s capable and strong and never ever complains. She’s a really good role model in a bleak world.

Exec: Yeah, about that, don’t you think it’s a little fake? Having a woman that shoots a gun?

Kirkman: Wait, what? But that’s the whole point. It’s the end of the world. Gender stereotypes don’t exist anymore. It’s kill or be killed and Andrea is possibly the strongest character I have, outside of Rick. Hell. She’s practically the second in command.

Exec: Exactly, exactly. That’s too out there. No one would believe that. Why don’t we just make a new character, a male one who could have all of her qualities.

Robert: A man?

Exec: We’ll name him Darryl or something. It doesn’t matter as long as he has a penis.

Robert: So do you want me to get rid of Andrea?

Exec: Oh, no, no. Not at all. She’s too important. And the fans love her. Let’s just make her whiny and depressive for, oh, two seasons.

Robert: Two seasons?

Exec: At least two. Then for the third. Let’s have her become a traitor and sleep with The Governor.

Robert: But Andrea would never do that. She’d shoot the Governor on sight. That’s why they never met in the comics. The story would be over too soon.

Exec: Exactly. We could say her devil-vagina-hole caused her crazy-woman-hormones to go insane. So she won’t kill the Governor. In fact, she’ll be annoying and conflicted until late in the season. Then we’ll have the Governor kidnap her. Because. You know. Women need saving.

Robert: I… I mean… I guess I could do that. At least I’ll still have Michonne.

Exec: Right, about Michonne…

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I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

One response to “What One of the Pitch Meetings for the Walking Dead MUST Have Looked Like

  1. Violet ⋅

    That sounds about right LOL Kickass post btw.

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