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Jack Reacher

Mr. Ex Nicole Kidman REALLY wants you to join Scientology.

I get a lot of shit for loving Mr. Ex Nicole Kidman. I get he’s crazy as shit. And his religion is dubious at best. Whatever. I don’t care about your personal life. If you’re an actor, chances are you’re a crazy fuck anyway. What matters to me if you make good movies. And Mr. Ex Nicole Kidman makes good movies, man. The dude loves cinema. He works with vibrant directors, talented writers, and quirky character actors. It’s strange to me that everyone turned so quickly against him, insanity or not. Yet, if the dudebro is gonna make movies like Jack Reacher, I might turn against him too.

Jack Reacher is about this super hero dude named… uh… Jack… something. Anyway, he’s invincible and knows everything. This guy kills people and Jack shows up to clear his name. It’s all very expected and obvious. Worse yet, because he’s invincible, there’s little tension. This is why Superman doesn’t work, people.

Your hero’s gotta be fallible, make some mistakes, die if severely wounded. This Jack fellow, well, he’s portrayed as a myth. Dudes fear him. Chick bang him. In fact, he reminded me a bit of me. After all, I bang chick on the reg while fighting dudes with one arm. The problem is, I wouldn’t make a compelling film character. I’m too rad and people wouldn’t believe I existed.

It’s the same for Mr. Ex Nicole Kidman. While it is cool to see him act like a boss, it’s hard to believe anything bad can happen to him when he’s so untouchable.

Grade: C


About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

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