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Shouldn’t have slammed that extra shot of vodka bro. You’re in a heap of shit now.

Legal Forward: The following review contains strong language, a joke or two about cocks, and the avocation of alcohol as a legitimate pastime. DudeBro hereby waves all responsibility because alcohol is bad and should never be consumed by responsible parties except in extreme cases like a visit from your mother-in-law or the loss of your favorite sports team. Alcohol bad. DudeBro good.

I once dated a broad that claimed I was an alcoholic. Can you believe that? Sure, I threw up on her mid-banging. Absolutely, I forgot her name a couple of Buds in. And, without a doubt, I’m generally drunk as fuck when I write these things up. You ever see a spelling error or misplaced punctuation? Blame the Absolute I was pounding a few hours earlier. But, come on, I don’t have a problem. I just like to party.

The past two weeks I’ve watched two movies where the lead has a severe alcohol problem though. And, you know what? It’s pretty much reaffirmed my faith that, indeed, I do not have a fucking drinking problem. Because, no matter how many chicks I spew on, I’ll never be as bad as Drunken Training Day Cop is in Flight.

Flight tells the story of Training Day Cop after he gets drunk, has a faulty plane, and then saves a shit ton of people. The movie then becomes a morality tale. Is it ok that he was drunk? Did his inebriation actually cause the wreck? What happens when you snort choke after emptying an entire fifth of vodka? It’s a lot slower paced than I imagined but I ain’t hating too much.

Mostly because this is the first live action film from acclaimed director Robert Zemeckis. For the last ten years the dude has given up tactile direction for weird, off putting motion capture shit. So, going in, my hopes were high. This is the dude who fucking took Marty McFly back to the future. He got Forrest Gump his second Oscar THEN stuck him on an island with a volleyball. There was also the bonus of Training day Cop. They’ve worked together before and it’s always fun to see great actors team up with boss directors.

Yet, as discussed in my Smashed review, the most important thing a movie can do is make you like its lead. Flight fails in this respect. Training Day Cop acted his ass off, sure. It’s a haunted and real performance that he should absolutely be proud of. But unlike, say, Training Day, his character is pretty much only an asshole. It’s hard to root for the dude.

This film plays along the same will-they-won’t-they-drink premise of Smashed too. But, in Smashed, I didn’t want Ramona Flowers to drink. I was pushing for her the whole time and that made it all the more tragic when she slipped up. Training Day Cop slips up just as much but I never felt bad about it. I wanted him to slip up because he was such a fucking fuck up.

All in all though, it’s a welcome return from the Uncanny Valley for Zemeckis. I’m glad his little trip there didn’t weaken any of his strengths. I look forward to more from him, even if I might be totally wasted when I see any of his future work.

Legal Note: DudeBro does not advocate or condone the use of alcohol. Even if it’s completely rad, all statements in this review should be taken as a joke. He is not, nor has he ever been drunk while watching a movie. Except for the really bad ones where drinking is practically a requirement. M. Night, I’m looking at you. 

Grade: B


About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

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