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Premium Rush

Wrecking your bike in New York: still not as embarrassing as seeing Neil Diamond live in Vegas.

Whew, it’s been a rough week, Dudebros. I’m in Vegas. And, you know what that means: brews, food, and sex. Honestly, at this point I can only remember bits and pieces but I know I’m gonna have some explaining to do when I get home to LadyDudeBro.

She’s probably not going to be too happy to hear about the chicks I banged, or their friends, or even that one midget broad that gave me a massage.

But, of course I have to tell, DudeBro is nothing if not honest. It’s just a matter of how to break things to her. Should I start with the Neil Diamond concert? Or should I just dive right in and confess the shit that happened in my hotel room hot tub? At the moment I feel more regretful about Neil Diamond but, make no mistake, the order of my story matters. Take Premium Rush, that movie would be nothing without its pacing.

The film stars the Kid From 3rd Rock. He likes to ride bikes, run over tourists, and deliver packages. One day the Crazy F.B.I. Agent from Boardwalk Empire is all like, “Listen, you little Sperm-Stained-Bitch, you have a package I want. Give it to me.” But 3rd Rock Tommy is all, “No, Doucher McDoucher VonDouchy, I’m delivering this package.” And, thus, a giant one and half hour chase scene ensues.

That’s it. It’s a straightforward plot with likeable characters that maintain clearcut motivations. That’s a plus but, with such a basic idea, it could get easy to fall asleep. Well, rest your wary worries, friends, this film sets things up in a kinetic oddball way. It keeps things fresh.

For instance, we see the cop want the package and watch him chase 3rd Rock Tommy through New York before a flashback pulls us back to reveal why the cop wants the package. Then the film fast-fordwards again, rewinds, fast-forward, super rewind, and so on and so forth. The jumpy narrative shouldn’t work as well as it does but it’s a welcome technique that maintains viewer involvement.

We gotta keep our eye on the clock, just like 3rd Rock Tommy.

And that’s why order matters: reveal too much too soon and all tension is gone. Or, conversely, you keep too much from the audience and they might stop caring about the characters. Luckily Premium Rush walks a fine line between keeping secrets and revelling in them. The result is a snappy, fun action film I wouldn’t mind seeing again.

Good job 3rd Rock Tommy.

Now, onto LadyDudeBro, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do. I just hope she can forgive me the embarrassment of seeing Neil Diamond live.

Grade: B+

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About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

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