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Ruby Sparks

“If you every leave me again, I’ll wear your skin like a blanket.” – Creepy Lead Dude

I’m really into Asian Foot Fetish porn. It’s very utilitarian as far as fetishes go and I jerk to it quite a bit on any given day. As you can imagine this causes problems whenever DudeMomBro wants to walk into my room. She’s always like, “Ahhh, not another foot!!!! Where is she putting that toe?!?!?! Why did I ever birth you Dudebro!!!!!”

She always mentions that her main worry is that won’t be able to pull my head out of my ass and join the real world if I’m always sitting here at my computer jerking it like a Caribbean chicken. I tell her not to worry. I need someone real to fuck daily too. That requires me going out to bars and hitting on any hot chick I see, at least until I can create someone from my mind. Then, well, yeah, I’ll just stay in doors and fuck DudeHotMindChickBro then.

As you can tell, Ruby Sparks really has me envious at the main dude’s ability to create a chick with his mind. That’s pretty much the entire plot. Writer Dude is all, “Man I wish I had a chick to fuck.” Then, BAM, Ruby appears and they fuck for two hours.

Except, where the film excels, where the real meat of the story is, is all in the execution. You see, it’s not all happy romantic comedy fun time. Oh no, this is a story about a man who basically owns and treats his girlfriend like a pet. They take the simple conceit to it’s darkness extremes and then keep going.

I respect that.

Cause, yes, it gets pretty disturbing. In fact, the last twenty minutes hew closer to Misery than any romantic comedy I’ve ever seen. I dunno, maybe it’s just me but I found it pretty fucking disturbing, in a good way.

Cause, you don’t always have to like the main characters. Romantic comedy hasn’t quite learned that lesson yet.  Most romantic leads are bland likable everymen that are impossible to distinguish. I think it’s safe to say, love him or hate him, you’ll remember this dude and all the creepy shit he does to poor old Ruby Sparks.

Grade: A-


About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

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