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Ted

Seriously, how does he fuck chicks?

Sometimes when an artist gets good at something they get lazy. Ahem, I’m looking at you Adam Sandler, George Lucas, and Weezer. This holds true for that Peter Griffith sounding dude who makes Family Guy. Sure, die hards will defend it, say it’s still amazing, but you can see it in their eyes: even they don’t believe anymore.

It extends further than Family Guy too. Every cartoon that dude touches just screams of lack of effort. This is what happens when Fox gives you a truckload of money. He’s only human after all. Ted somehow circumvents the problems of these cartoons and somehow manages to be a pretty fucking funny ride about a man’s friendship with his teddy bear.

What problems in specific?

Well, for one, there are very few throw away gags, which is pretty much all Family Guy relies on. There are a couple of disconnected scenes, like one where Marky Mark remembers his own awesome dance skills.

Family Guy also has the uncanny knack of not comprehending how nihilistic it actually is. This isn’t an assault on nihilistic comedy. It’s Always Sunny proves you can be hilarious while having a pitch black heart. No, Family Guy suffers because it doesn’t know it has a pitch black heart. It tries to have sweet family moments in between jokes about dumpster babies. It makes me think Peter Griffith should be beat over the head with my Tone-Stick. So he can learn to pick a tone and keep to it.

Luckily, surprisingly, Ted has a fairly deep heart. The plot doesn’t lose focus like so much of Peter Griffith’s other work. In fact, the trailer is almost deceptive, it insinuates that the plot will be a one note joke about a sex crazed bear. And, sure, there are a lot of jokes at that expense, but the film mostly takes Ted seriously as a character.

Plus, that chick from That 70’s Show is in it and she makes me want to scream at her vagina for hours.

Grade: B-

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About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

2 responses to “Ted

  1. How does he fuck chicks? Hey, where there’s a strong enough will, there’s always a way!

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