Posted on

What To Expect When You’re Expecting

The babies throw up as much as I wanted to during this film.

So, in the opening scene, Camron Diaz and that Curly-Haired-Fuck from Glee bang, off screen, and dance erotically in skintight clothes, on screen. Then Diaz blows chunks all over national tv. And you’re sitting there thinking, “Slutty Diaz, a unitard, and spew, alright, I’m in. This movie is gonna be filled with boobs, fart jokes, and, hopefully, a vag or two.”

It’s all downhill from there.

There are other people. I don’t even remember them. Mostly they talk about “feelings” and how much their “boobs” hurt. And, all the while, you’re sitting there like, “Alright broad, you’re tits hurt, pull them out and let’s get going.” But that never happens. It’s two hours of complete booblessness and boring conversations.

Chris Rock is there. I remember him. He also wasn’t awesome. That’s how badly this film fucking sucks nards: it made Chris Rock lame.

So all these chicks just sit around pregnant and then, all of a sudden, as preggo chicks are want to do, they go into labor. I think it was supposed to be hilarious labor, because they were yelling and screaming and talking about taking drugs. But nothing is funny about it. It’s just boring. And you’ll keep hoping for a vag shot, a quick sneak peek like in Knocked Up, but, nope. No vag. No boobs.

This film can suck my giant donkey dick.

Boobs: 0

Heads Blow Off: 0

Explosions: 0

Meaningful Conversations: 30 Million

Total: -30 Million

Advertisements

About dudebroreviews

I like banging chicks, drinking brews, and ordering porn on demand. Like the biggest boss you've ever seen.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s